Radical Self-Forgiveness - Exercise 2: IDENTIFYING MY (FALSE) INFERRED SELF

What in the Sam Heck is an INFERRED SELF, you ask? Good question! It, in fact, is the part of our self that is perceived by other people. Or, rather, it is OUR perception of ourselves, based on what other people see in us. If we are around people and they are continuously laughing at our jokes, we perceive ourselves to be funny. If people are continually flirting with us, we may perceive ourselves as charming or attractive. Does that make sense? Sure, I knew it did.

The problem that the (false) Inferred Self can give, is when our perception of ourselves is NOT aligned with the perception of other people. This is most commonly found in teenagers as they are struggling to chisel out an identity, and are continuously having people (parents, peers, teachers) thrust THEIR perception of what that teen is, when the teen himself (or herself) doesn't even know.

Another problem with the Inferred Self is that it can change, depending on who we are with. We may socialize with one crowd and receive a perception of who we are, and turn around and get a completely different response from a different crowd. This was actually something I faced when I was a teenager. I remember some people being very amused by my sense of humor or outrageous antics, while others simply thought I was a freak. I am proud to say that one of my biggest critics (a guy who thought I was a freak of nature) ended up being one of my best friends in high school.

Well... now that we SHOULD have some kind of an idea as to what our (false) Inferred Self is, let's see how I perceive OTHERS' perceptions of me. In this exercise, I am supposed to list traits NOT listed in yesterday's exercise, although I may need to duplicate some. The reason being is that, in yesterday's exercise, I posted "Introverted" AND "Extroverted". Obviously, I am not both. One is a perception of me. SO, in reality, I need to go back and edit yesterday's post. Let's see how we do, today...

I AM NOT THESE, THOUGH PEOPLE THINK I AM:

• EXTROVERTED (As stated, yesterday, I am really an introverted person. Much more comfortable holed up in my "Fortress of Solitude", doing my own thing.)
  
• TALKATIVE (Another misconception about me is that I am talkative. I "can" be, given the right circumstances. Otherwise, I am rather reclusive and keep to myself.
  
• INTELLECTUAL (This one is true, yet not true. I graduated high school with a cumulative GPA of 3.3 -give or take a couple points- and only took one piano class in college, before becoming misled about the possibilities of a college education. By time I had realized that my life truly COULD benefit from a college education, it was nearly impossible... what, with young children to feed and not enough money to pay tuition. Because I am somewhat "well read" and have continued to feed my mind, some people think I'm intellectual, to an extent. The truth is, I'm a good faker.)
  
• GROUCHY (Many people probably think I'm grouchy. Kids, are you there? Do you think I'm grouchy? Trust me... if they were reading this, they would concur. Oh, there I go, being a pseudo intellectual by using big words like 'concur'. Silly me.
  
• SEXY (A "few" people have said that I'm sexy. I don't see it. My eyes. Okay, I'll accept my eyes. But, other than that, I've never really been blessed with looks. In my opinion. I don't think I'm ugly, I just don't consider myself 'sexy'.
  
• INFLEXIBLE (I was recently told, by someone very close to me, that I am the most stubborn person they have ever known. Wow. That is pretty inflexible. In reality, I tend to adapt to my surroundings, whatever they are. I'm a chameleon of sorts. Sometimes, my surroundings may be out of my comfort zone, but for the most part I can bend myself to fit most situations.

There you have it, folks... you now know a little more about me. Now, to go back to yesterday's exercise and edit it so you don't think I'm crazy.